The Daily Grind with Matt Clarke

Control Freaks Beware

Written by Matt Clarke | May 5, 2026

It had been several years since he started the church and like most young organizations without strong leadership presence, it went from united zeal to divisions pretty quickly.  Paul heard what was going on while he was working across the pond in Greece, so he wrote them some instructions and sent his young protege, Timothy, to deliver it. Then, in his own version of undercover boss, he made an unannounced visit, and it didn't go well.  

 

He was met with a few very strong personalities set on doing things their way and his authority was severely challenged. The divisions in the church had grown even stronger and after leaving them with some fairly stern corrective action steps, he decided to write to them again. In his second letter to the Corinthians, this time from both He and Timothy, he didn't just tell them what to do, he appealed to them to collaborate. He wanted to coach them, not control them.   

Paul's leadership examples here are outstanding.  

First, take his mentorship of Timothy. Timothy is learning from Paul while on his missionary journey. Then Paul gives him a meaningful responsibility to see what he's got. After that, he brings him into partnership with him by co-authoring a letter. This begins to transfer authority. Shortly thereafter, He turns the Church of Ephesus over to Timothy and mentors him from afar. I'll show you how to do it, you do it with me, now you do it on your own. A great mentorship model. 

Also, look how he handles the Corinthian church. He knows they have strong personalities and ideas of their own. He doesn't try to squash that but use it. He knows that if he can coach them a little so they feel ownership of the result, it will go much better in the long run. People need to feel ownership if they are going to lead. And Paul couldn't be everywhere at once and needed leaders if the church was going to survive. He instructed, he verified, he corrected, and then he coached.  

 

Two very different approaches, one very specific goal. Develop and equip his people. 

 

Think about this in the context of your team. Are you lording over them with control or walking with them as a coach. Are they capable of doing it on their own (or at least moving in that direction), or are they dependent on you and afraid to exercise their own creative thinking? What about your children? Your job isn't to raise great children, who are completely obedient and dependent on their parents. Your job is to raise great adults, who can participate in their own positive generational impact. 

Be a coach, not a control freak. A mentor not maniac.
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