Don’t Miss the Well

Jesus is tired. It's noon, the hottest part of the day. He's sitting alone at Jacob's well outside a Samaritan town while the disciples go into the village for food. A woman comes to draw water. He asks her for a drink.

What follows is the longest recorded conversation Jesus has with anyone in the Gospels. He doesn't lecture her. He doesn't lead with her five marriages or the man she's currently living with. Those come out because he stays in the exchange long enough for her to bring them up herself. He's kind about her guardedness, available past the point most people would've moved on, and it's that patience that gets him to the real thing: not her water jar, but her heart, her waiting, her ache for a Messiah she can't yet name.

Then the disciples show up and are too busy checking off boxes to see what’s really going on. They marveled that he was talking alone with a woman, but no one said, "What's going on?", "Why are you talking with her", or “Tell us about her”. They notice something's off. They're curious enough to marvel. But nobody asks the why. They hand him some groceries and move on to logistics. Did you eat? Are we still going into town? Completely missing what just happened three feet away from them.

He wasn't hungry for bread. He was full from the conversation itself. From staying present with someone long enough to reach what was actually underneath her question.

"But Jesus replied, 'I have a kind of food you know nothing about.'" (John 4:32) 

If you truly want to influence people….be kind, be available, and be insightful prior to pointing them in any direction. If you rush, you may never find out where they want to go or why they want to go there. Never leave a conversation without you both learning something about the why behind their questions. The disciples had the same access to that woman's life that Jesus did. They just didn't ask. They were standing right there and still missed it, because they came with a task instead of a question.

Most of us are more disciple than we'd like to admit. We show up with the agenda, the fix, the food, the next item and we walk right past the well.

If you want to build your business, your family, your relationships, stick around long enough to authentically connect. The check box won't refer you, their heart will. After leaving Jesus, she didn't walk, she ran into town to tell everyone about Him. Do your clients do that for you? Does your team? Do your children?

Where in your week did you notice something was "off" with someone, like the disciples did, but didn't ask why?

Pick one conversation today where you'd normally hand someone the answer. Ask the why question instead.

Don't drink the water but miss the well.