How Do I Look?

"Does this look ok?" Guys, if you've ever walked into the bedroom and asked your wife that question, and she said: " yes, you look great", she's lying. She most likely didn't take a very close look as she was distracted getting ready herself. If you have to ask, the answer is "no". Typically, I get sent back to square one to try again, and I need the honesty. Susan would much rather hurt my fashion feelings than allow me to go into public looking like a mis-matched dumpster diver. She tells me the truth because she loves me.... and has to be seen with me......

At the end of a recent call on a business idea, a friend made a very well placed comment. He said, "take a look at what I'm sending you and give me your honest thoughts. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I know you'll tell me the truth". What a comment! Not only did he affirm our friendship and tell me he trusted me, but put me in the hot seat to really care about what he sent, not just appease him by passively reading it. Very well placed.

"Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy." (Proverbs 27: 6) 

Our Core Conviction of "Be the Expert" speaks of having mentors in your life that help develop and hone your expertise. A good mentor is someone who cares more about your future than your feelings. Someone who will tell you it's not the shirt that makes you look fat, but the pizza, cheeseburgers, beer and french fries you keep eating. Men and women who see things just a little different than you do because they have the scars of experience, the gift of discernment and care enough about you to share them both.

Flatttery is a deceptive weapon. Think about all the conversations you've had with your favorite AI system. How many times does it start its response with, "great question", "good idea", or something flattering. It knows the human condition will buy in sooner with something agreeable vs confrontational. It sucks you into thinking you have a friend. That's why the Bible warns us that it's better to receive the sober truth from a sincere friend than be intoxicated by the flattery of an enemy.

When muscles tear, they grow back stronger, that's the whole point of exercise. Find people in your life that love you enough be truthful, even when it tears you up a little. These friends are often the most important people in your life. Most people will be blowing you kisses as you drive off the cliff, but a sincere friend will help you hit the brakes or at least make sure you have a helmet on. Be that kind of friend to others. Friends help friends.

And boys, if your wife asks you, "how do I look?".... well ...... I can't help you there.... not all rules apply equally.