The Wall Isn't Listening

It's like talking to a wall. The brilliant, life-changing words come out of your mouth and just bounce off the person you aimed them at, never actually penetrating. You've got something to say, but they're just not in a position to hear it — preoccupied, rehearsing their own reply, or simply not interested. If effective communication is the communicator's responsibility, how do we make sure we're actually connecting?

The people of Israel spent about 390 years acting like teenagers, completely done listening to their Father. Convinced of their own way, running amok. God's words just bounced off them — so He put them in timeout for a while. Enter Ezekiel, a priest and prophet God used to finally get their attention. This isn't a children's bedtime story; the book of Ezekiel is a raw, piercing message of correction that a lot of us could've used decades ago.

God kicks things off by making sure Ezekiel was actually listening.

"'Stand up, son of man...I want to speak with you.' The spirit came into me as he spoke..." (Ezekiel 2:2) 

Before He wasted a single word, God made sure He had Ezekiel's full attention. He was clear, He was firm, and He invited Ezekiel into the conversation — giving him time to adjust his posture to listening. Notice the order: God didn't start talking until Ezekiel was standing, upright, present. He didn't mumble the message into the wind and hope it landed. He left no doubt that He was heard.

The biggest mistake about effective communication is the illusion that it occurred. It's hard to count all the wonderfully instructive things I've communicated to absolutely no one. Sure, there were people in the room — but they didn't hear what I said. And it was entirely my fault.

Here are three keys, straight out of Ezekiel's doorway with God, for making sure your words actually land.

1. Secure attention before you speak. God said "stand up" before He said anything else. He didn't compete with Ezekiel's posture — He corrected it first. Before you launch into what matters to you, ask whether the other person is actually positioned to receive it. A hallway, a distracted glance, a phone half-checked — none of that is a listening posture. Wait for eye contact. Ask "got a minute?" and mean it. The two seconds it costs you to secure attention will save you the ten minutes you'll waste being ignored.

2. Be clear, not clever. Ezekiel's assignment wasn't vague. God didn't speak in riddles hoping he'd piece it together later. He said what He meant. We love to hedge, soften, and bury the point in three paragraphs of preamble because directness feels risky. But the wall doesn't respond to clever — it responds to clear. Say the actual thing. Then stop talking.

3. Confirm it landed. God had Ezekiel eat the scroll — He wasn't satisfied until the message was inside him, not just in front of him. Effective communicators don't just deliver and walk away. They ask a question, watch for a nod that means something, invite the other person to repeat back what they heard. Silence isn't confirmation. Confirmation is confirmation.

Think of a conversation that didn't land recently. Was it your clarity that failed, or their posture — or did you never actually check?

Before your next important conversation, pause and secure the other person's attention first. Don't start until you have it. The wall is definitely in the room, but newsflash ..... it ain't listening.