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Those are My Guys

Leadership

In 2003, U.S. Army Staff Sergeant David Bellavia's unit was pinned down in a house-to-house firefight in Fallujah, one of the most brutal urban combat operations of the Iraq War. In the chaos, several of his men were trapped and taking heavy enemy fire. Bellavia didn't calculate the odds. He went back in. Alone. He cleared multiple rooms, engaged the enemy at point-blank range, and pulled his men out.

When asked later why he did it, he didn't talk about duty or orders. He said simply: "Those are my guys."

That's it. No speech. No hesitation. Just the kind of loyalty that doesn't need a reason because the reason already existed long before the crisis did. That's not a coworker. That's not a contact. That's a real friend.

"'There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friends sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24) 

Solomon had seen it all, the political backstabbers, the fair-weather advisors, the people who showed up for the banquet and disappeared at the battle. He wasn't being cynical when he wrote this verse. He was speaking from experience. Notice he puts "friends" in quotes. That's not accidental. He's calling out a category of relationship that wears the label without earning it. People who are present when it's convenient, encouraging when it costs nothing, and gone when the weight gets real.

Then he pivots. But a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

The word "sticks" in the original Hebrew is “dabaq”. It means to cling, to be joined, to hold fast. It's the same word used when Ruth refused to leave Naomi. It's the same word used to describe how a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife. This isn't casual loyalty. This is chosen loyalty that holds even when it hurts.

Pressure doesn't create character in people — it exposes it. The crisis doesn't make someone loyal or disloyal, it just shows you what was already there. David Bellavia didn't become that kind of soldier in that firefight. He became it in a thousand smaller moments — how he treated his guys when nothing was on the line, how he showed up when nobody was watching, how he stuck around when it wasn't required.

And here's the question that cuts both ways: Are you that kind of friend — or are you still in quotes?

Think about who in your life sticks closer than a brother. Have you told them what they mean to you? Now think harder: to whom are you that person? Who is counting on you to show up — not because they asked, but because you already know they need it? You can fake caring, but you can’t fake showing up.

Real friendship isn't just a gift you receive. It's a standard you carry.

Lord, thank You for the people in my life who've shown me what real loyalty looks like. Forgive me for the times I've been a "friend" in quotes — close when it was convenient, distant when it cost something. Give me the kind of love that clings. The kind that doesn't calculate. The kind that walks back into the hard place because those are my guys. Make me the friend somebody else needs today. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

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