Talk about frienemies. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were tight. Meeting in the Continental Congress of 1775, they battled side by side for the cause of liberty and worked together to draft the Declaration of Independence. They spent time with each other personally and developed a warm friendship. This lasted for years until their political differences became too polarizing for their friendship to bear.
In 1796, they ran against each other in the Presidential election. Adams, in favor of a strong federal government, beat Jefferson, who pushed hard for states' rights. It was the first contested election of the young country (imagine that...contesting an election) and began deeply rooted and bitter party lines.
Then, four years later, all hell broke loose. Jefferson and Adams ran against each other again, with Aaron Burr in the mix, exposing some flaws in the electoral process. Jefferson ended up winning (in a tie breaker with Burr, despite them being running mates), but not before Alexander Hamilton tossed some nasty comments at Burr (an old friend) so strongly that they ended up in a gunfight years later. The bitterness divided Jefferson and Adams so fiercely. Adams, the outgoing President, didn't even show for Jefferson's inauguration.
"You will know which one to arrest when I greet him with a kiss." So Judas came straight to Jesus. 'Greetings, Rabbi!' he exclaimed and gave him the kiss." (Matthew 26:48-49)
Why is it that the cuts that sting the deepest are typically from those closest to us?
It is the ones we trust, the ones we believe will always be there and will never betray us, the mat carriers we think have our backs. Then there's the proverbial kiss goodbye, and the pain is so deep you don't think you'll ever get over it.
Jefferson and Adams spent more than a decade publicly hating each other, until one day mutual friend, Benjamin Rush, had a vision from God to help them reconcile. Slowly, they humbled themselves, began to correspond with each other, and over many years, they stitched a beautiful friendship back together. The Bible says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God".
Benjamin Rush was a peacemaker. While Burr and Hamilton's feud ended in death, Jefferson and Adams demonstrated the power of humility and forgiveness on the world stage. Their story is so tightly woven together, they died on the same day, July 4th, 1826, 50 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence.
If you find yourself in the crosshairs of some bitterness between close friends or family, I'm sorry. I know it hurts, and the wounds are severe. But don't give up. Don't quit and don't duel it out. Give it some time. Show humility and offer forgiveness. Trust that God will deliver a peacemaker into your story and that He will reconcile things together for good. He always does for those who love and trust Him.
If Adams and Jefferson can survive 50 years of frienemies, so can you.
