I don't know why but I don't like carrying a notebook. Perhaps I'm still scarred by the years of lugging around those class-specific, color-coded, Trapper Keepers from junior high school when my arms were just long enough to wrap around the stack and barely hold on as I navigated the crowded halls from class to class. I love taking notes, however, and feel like old-school writing is one of the most important things I can do to support memory, convey attention, and stay organized and engaged. Being a note-taking fanatic with a desire to remain hands-free, I had a dilemma.
To solve it, I had note cards created that are about 4 x 8, on card stock (firm enough to write on without a table or book) that fit into the inside pocket of my jacket or the back pocket of my pants. Problem solved. I also created a system with cards that allow me to index, keep track of dates, manage my to-do lists, and stay organized. They are with me everywhere. We don't rise to the level of our potential, we fall to the level of our systems.
On the bottom of each note card, in light gray font, for just me to see, I had three reminders printed on each one. Smile, Be Kind, Listen.
I know it's sad I need to remind myself to do these things, but I do. I have issues just like you and don't always feel like doing them...
"For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast." (Proverbs 15:15)
Smile, Be Kind, Listen.
Smile: Smiling when you talk is a superpower that too few people exercise, but available to all. It's an influence enhancer of exponential measure, captivating in person and clearly heard over the phone. If you want to keep others engaged, like you, and listen to you, smile when you talk.
Be Kind: I don't like everybody and I don't like a lot of the conversations I often find myself in. Kindness, however, can never take a back seat to emotions, frustrations, or confusion. Kindness wins. But don't confuse kindness with apathy. Clarity is kind. Sometimes people (especially me and you) need the sober truth. The information you deliver is one thing, how you deliver it is another thing altogether. Delivering a difficult message with kindness is an important part of being a relational ninja.
Listen: Active listening is essential. Period. If you can't listen, you can't influence. The more you do of one, the more you will do of the other. I was reminded of this earlier in my prayer time. I had a lot to say to God and I was on a roll. After a while, He basically said... "Um, when do I get a turn?" How can I ever know what to do or where to go next if my mouth is too busy for my ears to engage? Oh..and note-taking is a HUGE listening hack.
These things are so important, and so unnatural for me that I have to keep reminders in front of me all day long. You may have different issues, but I encourage you to leave a few breadcrumbs to follow so you don't get off track for too long.
For the despondent, every day brings trouble, but for the happy heart, life is a continual feast. Being despondent means there is a lack of hope and engagement. It's funny, when I smile, act with kindness, and stay engaged, it comes back to me in spades, leading to hope, togetherness, and support. It's a choice. A happy heart doesn't come from the feast, but when you choose a happy heart, even table scraps will feel like one.