It was a situation that needed to be discussed, and everyone knew it. For days it lingered there under the surface like the ocean's undertow, constantly present and pulling on us, but everyone avoiding being sucked in. With each day, it became a bigger deal, and with each hour, the anxiety grew until it just couldn't be put off any longer.
When we finally attempted to launch into a discussion, and I didn't get the response I had created in my head, I erupted. Not in a molten lava spraying all over the room kind of way, but I was hot and let everyone know it. Well, you can imagine how productive that was!!! All participants to their corners for a cooling-off period.
I immediately regretted my reaction. I was still angry, but now disappointed with myself, a little embarrassed as I expected more, and also sad over the whole thing. So I hit my knees and prayed.
"Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us." (Ecclesiastes 7:3)
When we channel the pain of sadness through the refining power of God, it can produce an extremely valuable byproduct.
In this case, He transformed frustration into empathy, grace, and clarity. Every time it's different. That's just the beauty of the refining fire of Jesus. When we got back together for round two, it was a great conversation and produced the desired result and connection. If only I had started with prayer instead of forcing my agenda.
I love how we are all still growing and all still learning. Life is just relentless that way. As I look back on this situation, I'm reminded to:
I wish sometimes I didn't continue to give God so many reasons to teach me. Then again, I would miss the love and grace of Jesus if that were the case. Empathy, grace, and clarity are a pretty good set of tools when recovering from or avoiding a collision. Use them liberally, they never run out of power. Let the refining fire of Jesus transform the garbage into gold.
