Dish It Out in Abundance

Is it just me or do you spend a fair amount of your life as a bird, frustrated that the fish around you just don't see things the way you do? Why can't they see it? They just don't get it! What's wrong with them? They aren't making any sense...

In our all-company meeting last week on "Listening", Churchill leader Steve Vanderwey said when truly listening to someone, give them the gift of recognizing that everything they are saying is logical, rational, and reasonable from the context they are speaking from and experiencing. I thought that was brilliant and extraordinarily difficult at the same time. It occurs to me that it is also one of the most powerful tools of connection and influence any of us have.

"Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife." (Proverbs 19:14)

The gift of empathy and understanding is truly God-given because humanly speaking (at least for me) it doesn't come naturally. In my head when I hear something uncomfortable, inconsistent with my own thinking, or seemingly irrational, I immediately and silently work on my rebuttal, redirect, or dismissal. That robs both the person I am communicating with (or pretending to) and myself a space to connect and grow, leading to division, not relationship. Empathetic listening is a relational ninja move far too few people possess and is critical with those that you care most about. 

Albert Einstein said, "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

Albert Einstein said, "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one". If you want to influence others and grow in your relationships, realize that the reality you see isn't the same reality that others see. The fish aren't crazy, they have just never flown before...and you can't swim so give them a little space so you can see the world from their eyes.  

The measure of understanding you give will directly impact the measure you receive in return. Dish it out in abundance...especially at home.