Party on a Pontoon

Leadership

Admittedly, I don't pay close enough attention to the "news". Partially because finding a reliable source seems increasingly challenging these days and partially because I just am not that interested, especially on the weekends. That said, when I saw that there were wildfires burning in South Carolina, it caught my attention. I have a good amount of family and close friends in that area. People whom I care deeply about, and I was concerned.

I reached out to a number of them to make sure they were okay, and thankfully, they were. One of the responses I received, however, troubled me. They were fine from fires but had a few things to say about unrelated events going on that had them upset. In fact, I've observed it's been a trend in their life for a few years and has led to some healthy conflict and relationship issues. Much of it is unnecessary.

We have an acronym around the office: API - Assume Positive Intent. When we look for reasons to understand, accept, and give the benefit of the doubt to others, relationships flourish, people draw closer, and problems get solved. When we consistently looking for reasons to be offended, to find fault or a personal advantage, relationships crumble, division grows deep, and problems are expanded.

"Throw out the mocker, and fighting goes, too. Quarrels and insults will disappear." (Proverbs 22:10)

The word “mocker” in this proverb comes from the Hebrew word “לֵץ” (lēṣ), which means “scorner,” “mocker,” or “scoffer.” This term describes someone who is arrogant, self-centered or self-important, dismissive of understanding, and often causes strife through their ridicule and contempt for others. We have all been around people like this, and it's super unfortunate, especially when it happens within your team or family. Most are otherwise good people, but they always seem to speed away, leaving a negative emotional wake behind them. In contrast, people who are unoffendable and try to understand others tend to float in a pontoon full of friends and opportunities.

My wife, Susan, has a saying that if you look hard enough for something, you're sure to find it. If you want more peace and joy in your life, start looking for it. Offer a healthy measure of API. Give people grace and focus on understanding, not being right. The law of reciprocation applies here for sure. The measure you get will be directly proportionate to the measure you give.

Avoid being burned by your own flames. Douse the fires around you with a little API, and watch your impact and relationships flourish.