In a classic “Where do you want to go?” conversation loop, we struggled to decide where to get brunch. I had an idea, my wife, Susan, had an idea, and we went back and forth as we pulled out of the driveway. I started driving towards place "A" and after a few minutes we decided on place "B" which was in the opposite direction.
We turned the car around and headed back across town. The only problem was that place "B" we had only heard about and didn't actually remember the name, just the general vicinity. After driving around said vicinity to no avail, I could feel my anxiety building and did my best to repress it.
With a fake smile on my face, I turned back around towards the place "A" again. Then, in a valiant effort to add to the indecision, we introduced place "C" as an option. After a little more back and forth and my heart rate increasing, we decided place "C" it was.
Pulling up to place "C," we knew we had made a good choice because it was packed. Checking inside with nothing available (increase heart rate), we jumped onto a reservation app and lucked out as there was an open table in 15 minutes. Perfect! Now we just had to park and take our time. My anxiety started to fade a bit, but after taking 20 minutes to find a spot (arguing over a few potential "no parking" places I felt were good options), and ending up on the 7th floor of a garage a few blocks away, it was a full internal meltdown.
My lizard brain was fully engaged and out of control, and my entire countenance showed it. And poor Susan had to suffer for it. It took about 45 minutes and some crab cakes for me to feel back to normal again and recognize what a nervous wreck I had been.
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12)
When what I expect and what I experience are different, my immediate reaction is not good. For me, it's usually the small, petty things that cause the worst reactions. Like death by a thousand paper cuts, little things that impact my ability to control a situation or shift my focus from enjoying the moment to being frustrated that it's not exactly the script I had in my head. It's in these times that self-awareness is critical. If I don't catch myself quickly, I can fall off the emotional cliff.
This shows up in all of us. Our brains are wired to be right, in control, and have what we expect to be true. That's where self-awareness is so critical. Think about your work for a minute. How often do you see people or yourself get derailed by things out of their control or little missteps that cause focus to shift from the mountain to the molehill?
The Bible says to transform your mind and focus on things that are good and worthy, not the things of the world. When we are aware of our own thinking and mental patterns, we can catch ourselves before the heart gets sick and refocus on what's good and worthy of our attention. You have to learn to tame the lizard brain.
It all starts with your thinking and being aware of your natural tendencies. Focusing on what's wrong or frustrating will make your heart sick and your life stagnate. Focusing on what's good and worthy will help keep you moving forward and your dreams fulfilled.